How to Take Time Off Without the Guilt & Family Drama
The holiday season should be a time to relax, enjoy time with loved ones, and recharge. But if you’re like many of my clients, the thought of taking time off can bring on a flood of guilt. You may find yourself worrying about work deadlines, unfinished projects, or how your team will manage without you. This guilt can creep in and prevent you from being fully present during the holidays, stealing the joy of the season.
But it’s not just guilt—taking time off can feel daunting on other levels, too. For many who’ve been dedicated to work for years, reconnecting with family can be challenging, especially after putting career first for so long. And, if you’re used to having work to keep you busy, being away from it—even for the holidays—can be unsettling. I’ve had clients (and I’ve been there myself) who found that when the company closed for the holidays, they didn’t know what to do with themselves. Without work to focus on, relaxing can feel harder than expected, as if sitting still is somehow uncomfortable.
In fact, a American Psychological Association found that 89% of adults feel stressed during the holidays, largely due to work-related guilt and pressure. But I’m here to tell you—it’s okay. You deserve this time. And the truth is, stepping away from work doesn’t just benefit you; it can also make you a better employee, leader, and human being when you return.
Here’s how you can enjoy your holidays guilt-free, and why it’s so important for your well-being:
1. Embrace the Fact That You Deserve a Break
You’ve worked hard, and you’ve earned this time off. It’s not a luxury—it’s a necessity for your mental and physical health. By stepping away from work, you’re giving yourself the space to recharge, so you can come back more focused and energized. Studies show that taking regular breaks improves productivity by up to 40%, so let go of the idea that everything has to be perfect before you take a break. Your work will be there when you get back.
2. Set Boundaries Before You Go
If you’ve ever thought that your absence will cause everything to fall apart, it’s time to challenge that belief. Before your holiday begins, communicate your time off clearly to your colleagues, clients, and anyone else who might need to know. Set an out-of-office message and stick to it. If you feel compelled to check in, set specific times when you’ll allow yourself to do so—maybe 30 minutes in the morning or evening—but be strict about limiting it. Workplace boundaries are crucial for maintaining long-term well-being. You’re on holiday, not running a 24/7 support line.
3. Delegate and Trust Your Team
If you’re in a leadership position, it’s essential to delegate tasks to your team before you leave. Trust them to handle things in your absence. The more you trust them, the easier it will be to step away without guilt. According to a Harvard Business Review study, leaders who effectively delegate have teams that are 30% more engaged.
5. Disconnect to Reconnect
Turn off those email notifications. Better yet, leave your work phone at home. You don’t need to be completely unreachable, but limiting your access to work will help you focus on what matters most – enjoying the holidays and the people around you. A study published in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology suggests that people who disconnect from work during time off experience lower stress levels and higher life satisfaction. Disconnecting from work allows you to reconnect with yourself and your loved ones, making the holiday season truly special.
6. Let Go of Unnecessary Obligations
We often feel pressured to do things during the holidays out of a sense of obligation—whether it’s attending every holiday party or making that famous apple pie for the office potluck. Remember, it’s okay to say no. Prioritize what truly matters to you and skip the extras that add unnecessary stress. The holidays are meant to be enjoyed, not turned into a blur of overcommitment.
7. How to Reconnect with Family After Years of Focusing on Work
But what about when it comes to family? Reconnecting with family after years of putting work first can feel daunting, but it’s simpler than you might think. It’s about taking small, meaningful actions that show your loved ones you’re present and engaged in their lives.
Navigating Challenging Family Dynamics:
Sometimes, reconnecting with family isn’t as simple as showing up. You may worry about negative conversations, family conflicts, or uncomfortable memories resurfacing. It’s normal to want to avoid tense situations, especially when all you’re hoping for is a peaceful holiday. Try setting boundaries for yourself. If you feel a topic is leading toward negativity or rehashing the past, gently steer the conversation to lighter ground. You can say, “Let’s focus on enjoying our time together” or ask a question that brings the conversation back to something positive, like favorite holiday traditions or plans for the new year.
Finding Ways to Relate
After focusing so much on work, you may feel like it’s difficult to relate to family members, especially if you’ve grown apart. Start by focusing on shared experiences rather than differences. Remember that even if your lives look different on the surface, there are universal experiences you likely share—love for family, memories of past holidays, or even stories about challenges and resilience. By being curious and asking open-ended questions, you might discover new ways to connect with family members and hear perspectives you hadn’t considered before.
Start With Presence:
Being physically present is important, but emotional presence matters even more. Put away your phone, turn off notifications, and give your full attention to your family. A Pew Research Center study shows that 53% of people say spending quality time with family boosts their happiness during the holidays. Whether you’re sitting down for a holiday meal or playing with your kids, the simple act of being fully engaged in the moment strengthens bonds.
Listen More Than You Speak:
You may be tempted to talk about everything you’ve been doing at work, try focusing more on listening to what’s been going on in your family’s lives. Ask open-ended questions that show genuine interest in their experiences. This opens the door for deeper conversations and allows your family to feel truly heard.
Create New Traditions:
If your work schedule has caused you to miss out on previous family traditions, now’s the time to create new ones. Whether it’s a holiday movie night, cooking together, or even a walk in the park, these new activities can symbolize a fresh start in your relationships.
Show Appreciation:
Sometimes, we get so caught up in work that we forget to show our loved ones we appreciate them. Take the time to express gratitude for their support and patience. A simple ‘thank you’ can go a long way in mending any emotional distance that may have grown over the years.
Be Consistent Beyond the Holidays:
Reconnecting isn’t just about the holiday season—it’s about making a commitment to staying connected. After the holidays, continue making time for family. Schedule regular check-ins or family dinners. Showing up consistently builds trust and keeps the connection alive, long after the holiday decorations are put away.
8. Practice Mindfulness and Be Present
Mindfulness can be a game changer during the holiday season. Practice being present in the moment—whether you’re sharing a meal, exchanging gifts, or simply enjoying a quiet evening by the fire. By focusing on what’s happening right now, you’ll keep your mind from wandering back to work. Mindfulness has been shown to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression by as much as 40%. Simple mindfulness techniques like deep breathing or meditation can help ease any anxiety you feel about taking time off.
9. Coaching Can Help You Overcome Guilt
If guilt is a regular companion when you try to take time off, coaching might be the key to breaking that cycle. Through coaching, you can work through the emotional triggers that make you feel like you should be working, even when you’ve earned a break. I help my clients find balance by addressing those deeper feelings and reframing the way they think about work and time off.
Let me share a personal example:
For years, I was trapped in the cycle of overwork. Every holiday, I felt the weight of unfinished tasks and the pressure to check in constantly. It wasn’t until I made a conscious effort to set boundaries, delegate, and embrace the value of true rest that I was able to fully disconnect and enjoy the holidays with my family. Today, I help my clients do the same—taking time off without guilt and finding peace in knowing that they are better equipped to handle work after recharging.
This holiday season, give yourself the gift of being fully present. You’ve earned it. By setting boundaries, planning ahead, and practicing mindfulness, you can enjoy your time off without the guilt. And when you return to work, you’ll be ready to hit the ground running—recharged, refreshed, and more focused than ever.
Remember, your work doesn’t define you. It’s okay to step away and live your life. If you struggle with guilt around taking time off, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Let’s talk about how coaching can help you create a healthier relationship with work, so you can truly enjoy your life outside of it.
FAQs
To enjoy the holidays stress-free, set clear boundaries, delegate tasks, and stay mindful. These strategies are part of what I teach through coaching, where you’ll learn to balance work and time off without guilt.
Work-life balance starts with setting realistic expectations for both yourself and your team. Through my coaching, you’ll gain the tools to manage your responsibilities effectively without sacrificing your personal well-being.
Reducing holiday burnout starts with knowing your priorities—both at work and in your personal life. Through coaching, we focus on saying ‘no’ to unnecessary obligations and setting healthy boundaries so you can fully enjoy your time.